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Movie rating system (0-2) The movie is balls (2-4) A few moments but mostly bad (4-5.5) Entertaining film but lacking something to make it good. (6-7.5) A recommendation meaning a good solid watch. (8-10) must watch films, they are usually leaders in their respective genre. I can also be found on Facebook or follow my blog at the bottom of this page. THERE MAY BE MINI SPOILERS AHEAD!!! But there will be no endings/twists/cameos/or large plot reveals given.

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Monday, 1 October 2012

Zombie Strippers

Zombie Strippers
Comedy (Action, Horror, Zombie)
Rated: R
Running Time: 94 minutes
Starring: Jenna Jameson, Robert Englund
Directed By: Jay Lee
Rating: 0.5 out of 10
A zombie outbreak occurs at an illegal strip club changing the strippers into zombie strippers.

For people who might think I made up the title to this movie, I assure you it is valid. This movie got passed to me for review and I said why not. I like zombies and I like strippers, so what a genius thing to combine the two. What seems like gold on paper is anything but in reality. Zombie Strippers is the story of a scientifically engineered reanimation virus that gets introduced accidentally into the world. The virus makes its way to an illegal strip club, where it wreaks havoc on the girls dancing there.  

So the film commences and it is clear this is a 2 dollar operation catering only to people looking for cheap/low budget horror. We are introduced to the zombies and they are nothing to write home about. They are passable, but are more laughable in design and conception then scary.  It has an uneventful start where an army platoon clears out a laboratory of the infected populace. This will really tell you all you need to know about this film. That being the special effects are terrible, the acting is terrible, the comedy is groan inducing, and the women will be scantily clad. As the film makes its way to the illegal strip club, it does not promise to get any better. For what seems like an eternity, girl after girl gets onto the stage and strips for a rabid male audience. Then the feature stripper Kat gets bitten by a zombie and you would think that would change the story a little. It doesn’t really change it at all though. Zombie strippers start climbing on stage to do their stripping routines and the crowd still loves it. This film will literally make you want to jab a fork into your eye repeatedly. The strippers dance and then consume someone from the audience. They dance some more and then eat more people. The film never gets any deeper then stripping and flesh consumption.

The acting is on a whole new level of bad. The lead character played by Jenna Jameson, brings her acting chops over from the pornography world and clearly shares her talents with everyone in this film. You can almost picture the scripts being held in the actors hands as they interact and deliver truly god awful dialogue. If you think Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger fame) was going to make this film respectable, then guess again. He was amongst the worst in this as a slimy illegal strip club operator. Some of the actresses are pretty and that is the only kind thing I will say about this film.

The film clearly bites off more than it can chew (sorry for that line). People having their throats ripped out, jaws split asunder, and skulls torn open is all good in theory, but without the budget it is just awful to watch. The humor is terribly blended with the gore making this film almost impossible to finish. When the zombie strippers are not on stage they would be bickering amongst themselves. The living interact with the dead (These zombies could talk) and everyone is fine with that. Eventually all hell breaks loose and the zombie strippers fight the living as well as each other. The finest scene of the movie has a zombie stripper producing helicopter type winds as she spins on a pole to combat another zombie stripper firing pool balls out of her private parts. What I just described should lead you to decide if the film is for you or not. When the end of the film finally arrives it just made me want to watch Shaun of the Dead again to restore my faith in the genre.

Director and writer Jay Lee might know what he is doing but I just don’t understand it. He failed on every aspect. Casting, dialogue, action sequences, special effects, and humor. I gave this movie a .5 not because it was earned. I just couldn’t bring myself to give it a zero when the main theme is stripping. I know there is an audience for this film, I just hope it is not someone who reads my blog on a regular basis.

I cannot recommend this film as it takes bad to a whole new level.

T Factor + If you like low budget horror this could score higher on the rating scale.

T Factor – None

If you liked this film reel recommendations:  Troll Hunter, S.I.C.K

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