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Movie rating system (0-2) The movie is balls (2-4) A few moments but mostly bad (4-5.5) Entertaining film but lacking something to make it good. (6-7.5) A recommendation meaning a good solid watch. (8-10) must watch films, they are usually leaders in their respective genre. I can also be found on Facebook or follow my blog at the bottom of this page. THERE MAY BE MINI SPOILERS AHEAD!!! But there will be no endings/twists/cameos/or large plot reveals given.

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Wednesday, 2 October 2013


Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 130 minutes
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Sam Shepard, Reese Witherspoon, Michael Shannon, Tye Sheridan, Jacob Lofland, Ray McKinnon, Sarah Paulson
Directed By: Jeff Nichols
Rating: 7 out of 10
Two kids find an abandoned boat and a strange man in the woods.

Note to all kids out there, if you find random things in the woods, just turn the other way because weird shit is about to go down. Mud is the story of two rural kids (Ellis and Neckbone.) They discover an abandoned boat in the deep woods and claim it for themselves. The boat seems like found treasure until they realize the boat is not as abandoned as they think. A mystery man (named Mud), who is living in the woods, is the other claimant of the boat and he is willing to give up his claim…..for a price.

There are so many things to like about this movie I am not sure where to start. It is a coming of age story, it is a mystery, it is a love story, and it is well crafted drama. It also has elements of family dysfunction, revenge, and moral issues. Normally I hate these types of films that go for too many themes, as they always come off as sloppy and disjointed. Mud is neither of those things. The film starts out and we see the two best friends, Ellis and Neckbone, living the life of young teens in rural/small town Arkansas. They are often left to their own devices, and they get to explore the world as they see fit. In one of their adventures, they come across an abandoned boat on a deserted island, or so it would seem.  A man (Mud) inhabits the island and he claims that the boat is his. Instantly, the viewer is hooked by this scenario. No one should be living on this island, but here this stranger is. The kids are hesitant to talk to Mud as he puts the strange in stranger. There is something intriguing about Mud though, and it is easy to believe that he can charm two kids into helping him out. Mud is shady and yet he is interesting. He seems simple and yet he tells fantastic tales. He is homeless and yet he is confident and proud. They strike a deal for ownership of the boat, but it entails that Ellis and Neckbone complete some errands for Mud before that transaction is complete. The first half of this film is replete with budding friendships, interesting characters, and strange interactions.

The acting in this is fantastic right across the board. Ellis is played by Tye Sheridan and Neckbone is played Jacob Lofland. The two best friends have an easy relationship that reminded me of the kids from Stand by Me. They are more mature then they should be at 14 and yet they seem like little kids at other times. They go about their lives (and errands) as if a camera wasn’t even on them. They get into fights, they talks to girls, they go into places they shouldn’t. Believable lifelong friendships are hard to pull off in a 2 hour time span, Sheridan and Lofland had no trouble convincing me. Mud was played by the completely reinvented Matthew McConaughey, and he was perfect. I can’t think of anyone who has turned a career around like this cat has. I hated him with a passion until his last few films. He was always so smarmy and one dimensional. But, with films like Killer Joe, Bernie, The Lincoln Lawyer, and now Mud, McConaughey could have an Oscar on his resume in the near future. Mud is a character that is all over the map. With his crooked teeth and his slight lisp, he wins the viewer over with tales of romance and the wide world. His past and present are a mystery, but he treats the two kids with respect and treats them as adults. The three of them form an odd friendship that will define the rest of their lives. Michael Shannon and Sam Shepard have brief appearances, but make great additions to the story.

As the film carries on it is clear that some of these errands are going to get the boys into trouble. As the days pass, Mud’s past starts to come to light and the kids have to make some tough decisions on what to do next. Ellis has to balance a struggling home life, a budding romance, and his conscience. The film is many things, but I was captivated the most by these two young kids as they traverse a very violent and often times cruel world. In Conclusion, this film will not be for everyone as it is very slow. But if you are a fan of a well crafted drama, great acting, and a boatload of interesting characters, then Mud is a sure fire hit.

I was unfamiliar with Director and writer Jeff Nichols work, but I will be paying attention to his stuff in the future. He seems to be able to combine a whirlwind of themes and harness the chaos it causes. When Mud is on the screen, you are wondering what his story is. When the kids are on the screen, you are wondering what sort of trouble they are going to get into next. Small towns sometimes have huge secrets, and it is neat to see two young kids at the center of the storm. Great work Mr. Nichols; this film has both character and soul.

I give this movie a recommendation and if you are wondering, McConaughey does take his shirt off in this.

T Factor + If you like the drama genre then this could score higher on the rating scale.

T Factor – If you do not like Matthew McConaughey as an actor then this could score lower on the rating scale.

If you liked this film reel recommendations: Stand by Me, Undertow

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Scary Movie 5

Scary Movie 5
Comedy (Spoof)
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 86 minutes
Starring: Ashley Tisdale , Simon Rex
Directed By: Malcolm D. Lee
Rating: 0 out of 10
Following the Sanders family, this is a movie spoofing the current horror films.

Have you ever stepped in dog crap before? Have you ever been hit in the junk with a hockey puck? Have you ever had to pass a kidney stone? Have you ever stepped on a pin with your bare foot? Did you see the movie The Tree of Life in theatre? I have done all of these things at one point in my life, and I can honestly say they were all more enjoyable than this movie. Scary Movie 5 is the story about the Sanders. They start to experience some paranormal activity after bringing their two young nieces into their house. They need to get to the bottom of this activity before it tears their family apart.

It took exactly 30 seconds to realize that this movie was going to follow in the same pitiful footsteps of Scary Movie 3, and 4. An opening scene where Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan have sex while Yakety Sax plays in the background, is not only painfully stupid, it somehow insults the memory of Benny Hill at the same time. Trust me when I say that this movie never gets any better. This movie follows the storylines of Paranormal Activity, Mama, and Black Swan. It also throws in many references from films like The Evil Dead, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and Sinister (and many others.) No matter what film they were spoofing, it failed miserably. The Sanders are just a regular couple going through some personal issues. They have agreed to look after their little nieces who were found living in the woods. Shortly after moving the kids in, the Sanders are inundated with creepy sounds and objects that move on their own accord. While most films take a slow progression up to the stupid poop and slapstick humor, Scary Movie 5 repeatedly slaps the viewer in the face with unfunny material from the get go. Someone out there thought that if you mashed enough jokes about having sex with animals, awkward racial stereotypes, and people getting hit in the head that it would make for a good comedy, they were wrong.

Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Snoop Dogg, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Katt Williams, and Heather Locklear. This cast is so bad that it wouldn’t even be asked to do an episode of Hollywood Squares. I won’t waste my time speaking about the acting as I am sure you understand by now how I feel about this movie. The only positive is Ashley Tisdale is easy to watch even if she isn’t remotely funny. Lastly, Jerry O’Connell is in this, and he looks like he is coming off a 2 year coke binge as he is unrecognizable. Trip McNeely looks sickly.  

I have a confession to make; this film was so bad that I had to watch it in three parts. I would tire of the stupidity and go play some Diablo 3 to ease the pain. As I came back and restarted from where I left off, it just reaffirmed my hatred for it. The Sanders realize that they must confront the evil in their house before being destroyed by it. It is in this confrontation that the exact opposite of humor can be found. There are putrid scenes of an intelligent ape confronting the evil entity from Mama. There are stupid scenes about the lesbian love scene from Black Swan. There are inane scenes about the book reading from The Evil Dead. The writers also seemed to think by simply referencing another film that it would make for good comedy, they were wrong. In conclusion, this movie just made me sad. It made me sad that I wasted my life watching it. It made me sad that there are people out there that obviously find these movies funny. It made me sad for the actors that they have fallen so low. Finally, it made me sad to know that Scary 6 will eventually happen.

Director Malcolm D. Lee will get a pass from my criticism as this script allows for zero comedy. He took a broken franchise, threw in some broken actors, and guided this film to a profit. So I guess he earned his paycheck. You should have made Undercover Brother 2 and stayed away from this mess, Mr. Lee.

I cannot recommend this movie. PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS.

T Factor + None

T Factor – None

If you liked this film reel recommendations: Superhero Movie, Disaster Movie.