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Movie rating system (0-2) The movie is balls (2-4) A few moments but mostly bad (4-5.5) Entertaining film but lacking something to make it good. (6-7.5) A recommendation meaning a good solid watch. (8-10) must watch films, they are usually leaders in their respective genre. I can also be found on Facebook or follow my blog at the bottom of this page. THERE MAY BE MINI SPOILERS AHEAD!!! But there will be no endings/twists/cameos/or large plot reveals given.

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Monday, 15 October 2012

Return to House on Haunted Hill

Return to House on Haunted Hill
Action (Horror)
Rated: R
Running Time: 81 minutes
Starring: Amanda Righetti, Cerina Vincent, Erik Palladino, Tom Riley
Directed By: Victor Garcia
Rating: 1 out of 10
A group of people head to a house with an evil history in search of an expensive relic.

Just what the world needs, a sequel to one of the worst horror movies of all time. Instead of burning down this house that kills everyone who enters, they just let it sit there to kill time and time again. No one will learn their lesson of not entering this place and the viewer is the one left to suffer. The Return of House on Haunted Hill is the story of another group of people entering this accursed house (former mental institution.) This time they are in search of an evil statue called the Baphomet idol. The problem is the house’s former patients and staff is still there and they are still very hungry to kill.

Right away you will notice the production value is way down on this flick. While some horror movies can pull off low budgets (Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity) this film most definitely could not. Its cheap camera work detracts from all sense of realism and terror this film might have induced. Now it is hard to pick on a film that went straight to DVD but really why make this movie? The films lackluster start does nothing to make the viewer think this is going to be any better than the first installment. The group heads to this house with a sinister past and shockingly gets locked inside. From there it is all about splitting up into small groups and letting the house pick them apart in random ways. The funniest thing is if you have watched the first film than you will notice the inside to this house is completely different. Same house on the outside but there are many more rooms and flooded sections along with much different medical tools to cause death in this one (It gets left unexplained.) People get mutilated, ripped apart, drowned, burned, and much more but it is so low rent that it will barely register as scary.

The acting is pretty sad right across the board in this film. It is a sad state of affairs when the performances are so weak. The bad guy of the group Desmond played by Erik Palladino is the stand out worst. Mainly he is cast wrong but he does not have the right look, voice, or delivery to be the bad guy. Add the fact he uses lip balm on a regular basis and it makes his performance just dumb. No one stands out though. The quasi army guys who accompany the group into the house are stereotypically bad and rigid. The lead girls played by Amanda Righetti and Cerina Vincent are in this to fill tight clothing instead of offer anything meaningful to the story. The acting was off in every way.

As the film progresses it just gets sillier and sillier. A woman soldier starts to have a lesbian encounter with two attractive ghosts. The furniture comes alive and attacks the group. There are a multitude of flashbacks of the hospitals origins for no apparent reason. Some of the ghosts or apparitions are helpful and some are malevolent but that is not explained. Sure there is a super high body count and sure there is plenty of blood but when the story is so weak it is hard to get invested in the film. This film is super short at 81 minutes so it is not hard to sit through and when the end of this film does come it is one of relief. Hopefully this is the end of this franchise as it has been nothing but wasted film watching for almost the entire two films.

It is hard to pick on director Victor Garcia for this film. When you don’t have the budget to pull off something like this it is hardly your fault. One would argue why even make this film then but people want to work I guess. Everything is off in this film but most noticeably is the camera work and poor casting choices. The film does have many kills and lots of blood but few frights. It never engages the viewer and has too many weird storylines.

I cannot recommend this film as not only is this house not scary it is not fun either.

T Factor + If you like lots of blood in your films then this could score higher on the rating scale.

T Factor – If you need good storylines in your films then this could score lower on the rating scale.

If you liked this film reel recommendations: The Haunting, Silent Hill. 

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