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Movie rating system (0-2) The movie is balls (2-4) A few moments but mostly bad (4-5.5) Entertaining film but lacking something to make it good. (6-7.5) A recommendation meaning a good solid watch. (8-10) must watch films, they are usually leaders in their respective genre. I can also be found on Facebook or follow my blog at the bottom of this page. THERE MAY BE MINI SPOILERS AHEAD!!! But there will be no endings/twists/cameos/or large plot reveals given.

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Saturday, 21 December 2013

Movie 43

Movie 43
Rated: R
Running Time: 94 minutes
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Common, Will Sasso, Seth McFarlane, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Live Schreiber, Naomi Watts, Anna Farris, Chris Pratt, J.B. Smoove, Kieran Culkin, Emma Stone, Richard Gere, Kate Bosworth, Jack McBrayer, Justin Long, Jason Sudeikis, Uma Thurman, Bobby Cannavale, Aasif Mandvi, Kristen Bell, Leslie Bibb, Katrina Bowden, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz, Patrick Warburton, Gerard Butler, Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Halle Berry, Stephan Merchant, Terrence Howard, Elizabeth Banks, Josh Duhamel,  
Directed By: Multiple
Rating: 0 out of 10
A movie producer pitches a host of ideas to a big wig executive in a last ditch effort to save his career.

My 97 year old grandmother is slightly racist and has partial dementia, and she says things that I would consider funnier and less awkward than what happens in this film. Movie 43 is the story of a down on his luck Hollywood producer. He is pitching a series of movie ideas to a Hollywood executive in the hopes of resurrecting his stalled career.

I was looking forward to watching this film for a long time. The trailer for this movie is arguably the funniest trailer that I have ever seen. You should just YouTube that trailer now, and save yourself from the self inflicted gunshot wound that is this movie. The film starts out and we are introduced to a disheveled looking producer, peddling his grade 2 movie ideas. He is clearly deranged from the first movie pitch. Seeing Hugh Jackman with a pair of testicles on his throat is all you need to know about the quality of humor. The film is just is an odd assortment of the lowest form of humor ever conceived. Not only is the script trolling the bottom of a dirty toilet for its jokes. It relentlessly beats the viewer over the head with them. A girl gets her period for the first time, so let’s make unfunny jokes about it for the next ten minutes. A guy is strangely home schooled by his overbearing parents, so let’s make awkward incest jokes about it for the next ten minutes. A naked female music player mangles guy’s junks, so let’s make inane sexual jokes about it for the next ten minutes. And so on and so on. It is not the crass humor that bothers me. It is more the lack of subtly in its presentation.

Look at this cast and tell me how this could have gone so wrong? I am not going to fault any of the actors/actresses that show up in this movie. They are clearly attempting to appeal to new audiences by trying a genre that is outside of their normal comfort level. Unfortunately, this movie is so bad they will all look back at this with some modicum of regret. Most actors/actresses lament their earlier work as they are just looking for a paying gig. Anyone involved with project can now look back and say without a shadow of a doubt that this is the worst thing on their resume.

As the film carries on it is obvious that it has no clear direction. It just bounces from one abysmal movie pitch to the next. It is an insult to the viewer that they have to sit through so many terrible scenes. I could talk all day about how bad this film is but I will leave you with this thought. I would rather get another kidney stone. I would rather watch Nicolas Cage do Shakespeare. I would rather watch Lizz Winstead do standup comedy. I would rather my nephew break my favorite Star Wars Figure than have to watch this movie again. Toilet humor can work if done right, but this material clogged the toilet.

 As for the directors, it is like all of them got together, smoked peyote, and then asked Andy Dick to write a film for them. Then they filmed it.

I obviously cannot recommend this movie. It is easily one of the worst of 2013.

T Factor + None

T Factor – None

If you liked this film reel recommendations: Scary Movie 3-5, Date Movie.

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