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Movie rating system (0-2) The movie is balls (2-4) A few moments but mostly bad (4-5.5) Entertaining film but lacking something to make it good. (6-7.5) A recommendation meaning a good solid watch. (8-10) must watch films, they are usually leaders in their respective genre. I can also be found on Facebook or follow my blog at the bottom of this page. THERE MAY BE MINI SPOILERS AHEAD!!! But there will be no endings/twists/cameos/or large plot reveals given.

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Thursday, 21 February 2013

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill
Rated: PG
Running Time: 91 minutes
Starring: Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino,
Directed By: Dennis Dugan
Rating: 0 out of 10
A guy must choose between his struggling career and the happiness of his annoying twin sister.

To start, this is one of the worst movies of all time. I am not saying this for effect, but it truly is. Sandler should have to monetarily compensate everyone’s movie ticket, rental, and DVD purchase of this film and offer an apology in the process. Adam Sandler has not made a good film in a really long time. Scratch that, Adam Sandler has not made an average film in a really long time. I defended him after films like You Don’t Mess with the Zohan and That’s My Boy, but I can do so no longer. When his friends are making better stuff (Grandma’s Boy, Bucky Larson) it is time to self reflect Mr. Sandler. Jack and Jill is the story of identical twins. Jack and his family have to entertain his annoying twin sister Jill for Thanksgiving. Jack’s nightmares are realized when Jill decides to stay on for longer than planned.

This film is thoroughly perplexing in its awfulness. Why Sandler even bothered with the playing two characters bit is beyond explanation. Playing multiple characters is almost impossible to do well in film. If there are any actors out there reading this review I have a tip for you. If you are ever forced to play multiple roles, just watch this and do the opposite. The film starts off and we are introduced to Jack as he goes about his everyday life. He has a loving family and he is a successful advertising executive. His life is about to be thrown for a loop though on both fronts. On the job front, his company is on the verge of losing their biggest client in Duncan Donuts. On the family front, he is about to entertain his obnoxious sister to the detriment of his family’s happiness. After a tepid beginning to the movie it quickly spirals out of control in all areas. Jack must procure Al Pacino (the actor) to star in his Duncan Donuts commercial while also entertaining Jill. This is not easy to do, but to complicate matters Al Pacino falls head over heels in love with Jill. So the story is blah but the love angle is deplorable and here’s why. Jill is a greasy, obnoxious, whiny, and any other negative adjective you can think of type of woman. She leaves gross sweat stains on the bed when she sleeps and kills small horses by sitting on them. She also can lift more weight than Brock Lesnar and play soccer like Lionel Messi for some reason. The film's story is noticeably stale because there is not a single laugh to be had.

Jack and Jill are played by the once funny Adam Sandler. He is vanilla as Jack, but words cannot describe how painful this film is because of his performance as Jill. I ask you honestly, is there a worse character in cinematic history then this? I would have rather watched Jar Jar Binks do stand up then sit through this film again. Her perpetual shrieking voice and childlike mannerisms are so grating that I almost had to turn this film off. Al Pacino playing himself in this, can look back on his performance as a paycheck and nothing more. His weird love interest in a woman (Jill) that looks like she could give a warthog dry heaves, (Hells yeah I just quoted Al Bundy) might be his lowest moment of his career. Pacino plays a character that makes Gary Busey seem normal in comparison. He seems out of place in this film and that is because he is out of place in this film. All of Sandler’s friends show up in this but I already have forgotten their oddball characters.

So the only thing positive about this film is when Jill is not on screen. It doesn’t make this film any better, but it is a relief from her migraine inducing performance. Jack is forced to make some tough choices in this with regards to his family and professional life. He needs to decide if landing Pacino for the commercial is worth his sister’s unhappiness. As he struggles to find the answers he gets estranged from his family in the process. They all seem to think Jill is charming and cannot see why Jack is so mean to her. It is an angle that has been used a thousand times before but in this it is just sickening. No one would ever like Jill, so why are there so many people in this who find her nice is beyond me. I will stop talking, but if you are going to watch this then be prepared for Al Pacino sexually assaulting Jill, Pepe Le Pew style. Be prepared for adults speaking in a secret language which is mostly gibberish. Be prepared for Sandler to recycle fart and poop jokes. Lastly, be prepared for a movie that is so shocking in its ineptitude, that it somehow ruins the memory of Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore.

Director Dennis Dugan has to stop making movies or at least stop making movies with Adam Sandler. Grown Ups, Just Go With It, The Bench Warmers, and now this have ruined my faith in Sandler comedies. It is as if you can see the actors strolling from scene to scene, hating themselves for needing the money this badly. Truth be told, no director could have made this a good movie but it is little excuse. The films lack of energy and pace can be attributed to Dugan and he needs to take a step back from comedy for a while. Truly this a terribly put together film.

I cannot recommend this film and I am a little dumber for having watched it. I award it no points and may god have mercy on my soul.

T Factor + None

T Factor – None.

If you liked this film reel recommendations: The Benchwarmers, The Nutty Professor.  

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