Beastly

Beastly

2011
Drama
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 86 minutes
Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Hudgens, Mary-Kate Olsen, Neil Patrick Harris
Directed By: Daniel Barnz
Rating: 1 out of 10

Outline

A New York teen is cursed with ugliness after teasing a girl in his High school. He has one year to break the curse by falling in love or it lasts forever.

Review

I knew nothing about this movie going in besides the title. I was a little disappointed to find out that it wasn’t the life story of the evil henchman Beastly from the Care Bears cartoon. Please don’t read into that last statement too much. What we did find out and quite quickly was this movie is not even remotely worth anyone’s time. This movie is a modern day take on the Beauty and the Beast story. A New York teen is transformed into a vile looking monster and must find true love to break the curse. I really didn’t understand why this movie was made and who it was catering to. The story that was captured so well in the animated film Beauty and the Beast, was completely mangled by this movie. This film is a watered down, joyless look into a classic story.

 The film introduces us to its key players and instantly you regret having tuned into this film. The lead character Kyle Kingston played by Alex Pettyfer is a super exaggerated narcissist who has little regard to people who are not so called beautiful. He is god’s gift to the world and he treats everyone around him like dirt because he is good looking.  I hated this character in both substance and execution. There may be Kyle Kingston’s in the world but I highly doubt they are this idiotic. Even if they do exist a more subtle bully would have been better suited. Even after Pettyfer gets cursed with ugliness he does nothing with the character and it basically ruined the film. His love interest Lindy played by Vanessa Hudgens was unremarkable as a carefree soul. The supporting cast was a mishmash of poorly fit personalities and performances. His classmate Kendra played by Mary-Kate Olsen was a complete failure in this film. She gets picked on by Kyle for being different and then curses him for his wicked ways. She is a modern day witch and just an eyesore with substandard dialogue and film presence. The other disappointing character was Kyle’s blind tutor Will played by Neil Patrick Harris. He has a couple of funny lines but he seems lost and out of place in this film.

 With such substandard acting and interactions the film had no chance to succeed. For some reason when Kyle gets cursed he doesn’t change into a hideous beast like the title of this movie would imply. He is changed into a white version of Mike Tyson with a few scars. It was a strange choice of tattoo transformation. Kyle also would never be able to win Lindy’s love. Not because of his looks but more of his creepy stalking ways. He follows her around the city like a madman and was quite awkward in a lot of scenes. You are supposed to want the two of them to find endless love not for the movie to end. There was no chemistry between the two and everything seemed contrived and forced. The films modern take on this story was just plain strange. Witches, drug dealers, blind tutors were not seamlessly fit into this love story at all.

 Director Daniel Barnz put together a film of staggering dismalness. Poor casting choices coupled with a downright terrible script left this movie floundering. Modern day stories are notoriously hard to do so I will not fault the attempt. I unfortunately have to disdain the final product though. Everything in this film was off with nothing I can praise. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but this film will be beautiful to no one. He not only missed producing a nice love story he didn’t even make a like story.

 I cannot recommend this film as you are better off just going with rewatching Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Or even try finding the Beauty and the Beast television show with Linda Hamilton kissing Beast Ron Perlman. Anything would be better than this.

 T Factor + If you like teen love stories this could score higher on the rating scale.

 T Factor – If you like typical love stories this could score lower on the rating scale.

 If you liked this film reel recommendations: Phantom of the Opera, O