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Movie rating system (0-2) The movie is balls (2-4) A few moments but mostly bad (4-5.5) Entertaining film but lacking something to make it good. (6-7.5) A recommendation meaning a good solid watch. (8-10) must watch films, they are usually leaders in their respective genre. I can also be found on Facebook or follow my blog at the bottom of this page. THERE MAY BE MINI SPOILERS AHEAD!!! But there will be no endings/twists/cameos/or large plot reveals given.

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Thursday, 1 March 2012


Rated: R
Running Time: 105 minutes
Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Stephen Seagal
Directed By: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez
Rated: 3.5 out of 10
An Ex Federale is setup to take the fall on an assassination attempt on a Texas senator. He will stop up at nothing to get revenge on the people who betrayed him.

I was a huge fan of Director Robert Rodriguez’s portion of the Grindhouse films dubbed Planet Terror. It was in Planet Terror where Machete came to be as he appeared in a pretty entertaining fake trailer during that film. It is too bad for us the viewer he didn’t stay there as this movie was appalling from pretty much start to finish. I have really enjoyed most of Rodriguez’s movie resume and like his unorthodox over the top campy style but this film swung for the fences and didn’t even connect with the ball. Machete was flawed from the get go with an aged actor Danny Trejo playing the title character. This review will hopefully answer a question I have answered a hundred times before. The guys name is DANNY TREJO. He shows up in lots of movies as small characters and no one ever seems to know his name. Now Danny Trejo is in his mid sixties and good for him he tackles this role with vigor but he looks his age on screen and it is painful to watch. Machete is an odd character with his grizzled visage and stiff movements and yet we are supposed to believe he is a dangerous killer and seducer of women. The film’s opening sequence shows us that this is no nonsense type of movie with exaggerated blood spray that rivals the movie Kill Bill. The film could never keep this type of energy though as it would just be a bloodbath of epic proportions and no direction. Machete is a revenge movie with little substance and scenes of violence that you are actually bored by halfway through. An odd story of political wrongness and immigration law are combined uneasily with strained dialogue and shallow characters. This movie tries to make up for its lack of script by throwing names at you like De Niro, Alba, Rodriguez, and even a strung out looking Lohan but they were all swamped under a terrible story. The film will not surprise you in any way as it floats from scene to scene waiting for over the top action that never really satisfies you. It culminates with an ending reminiscent of the street fight in the movie Anchorman. I was expecting Steve Carell to show up with a trident. I cannot give this movie my recommendation as it was a bizarre offering from the usually solid Rodriguez (I picked on Rodriguez as he was the veteran compared to the debut from Ethan Maniquis). It was a struggle to get through and while I applaud the originality I have to show disdain to the finished product.

T Factor + If you like campy movies or a big fan of Rodriguez past work this could score higher on the rating scale.

T Factor – If you do not like over the top scenes of violence this could score lower on the rating scale.

If you liked this film reel recommendations: Hobo with a Shotgun, Grindhouse

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