The Conjuring

The Conjuring

Horror

2013

Rated: R

Running Time: 112 minutes

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston

Directed By: James Wan

Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Outline

A family hires two paranormal investigators after some strange occurrences take place in their quiet farmhouse.

Review

(See picture below) Who the frak would own a doll like this? Seriously, this is the scariest looking doll of all time!

The Conjuring is the story about Frank and Lorraine Warren. They are paranormal investigators that help people with supernatural problems. Taking place in the 1970’s, The Warrens are about to take on their most difficult case yet. The Perron family has been tormented by a sinister presence in their farmhouse and requires the Warren’s aid to stop the supposed haunting.

The film starts off with a fantastic opening scene where two girls are tormented by the above mentioned doll. The brief opener puts the viewer on edge, as the paranormal activity is entirely suspenseful and extremely abrupt. This creation of nervous tension never leaves the viewer for the whole film (which is obviously a good thing.) The opening moments also offers a glimpse into what the Warren’s work is all about. They are there to primarily debunk any hauntings, and if so needed, to offer assistance to people who legitimately need their help. The Warrens lead an interesting but happy life as they battle the evils of the world. That is all about to change when they are introduced to the Perron family. The Perrons are a down on their luck family trying to survive an economic downturn. They have recently moved into a fixer-upper farmhouse on a picturesque tract of land. The two parents and five daughters settle into their new house with thoughts of new beginnings on their minds, but the house has other ideas. The first half of the film sees the Perron family bombarded with strange happenings and unexplainable events. Random noises, awful smells, and malfunctioning electronics seem to invade their lives at every turn. This film seems to throw something scary at the viewer with alarming frequency (which I normally hate) but the film is so creepy that it works. The Perrons pass off the early events as new house growing pains, but when their dog starts to freak out over nothing, unexplained bruises appear on their bodies, and random items fall from the walls, they decide they need help (enter the Warrens.)

This film has a veteran cast and they work well together in their respective roles. The Perrons are played by Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston. I have been critical of these two in the past, but they are solid as blue collar parents trying to make ends meet. They are skeptics of the occult and yet seek help when things spiral out of control. The two of them work in this film because they don’t try and do too much with their characters. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga play the Warrens. Wilson is solid if unremarkable as the fearless paranormal investigator. He adds stability to the chaotic situations through his calming demeanor. Farmiga is not only beautiful, but she turns in the best performance of this film. She will win the viewer over with her powerful performance/emotions as a self professed clairvoyant. Farmiga and Wilson seem so at ease with each other as they ghost hunt, 1970’s style! The only weak performance in this is turned in by the youngest Perron daughter played by Kyla Deaver. Deaver’s awful dialogue and robotic delivery will definitely take the viewer out of the scare mode at times. She is young though, so it is hard to pick on her.

As the movie carries on, it will prove to the viewer that if you look into the darkness long enough, there are sometimes evil things lurking there. The Warren’s presence in the house has escalated the hatred, and they have a limited time to root out the evil residing there. The Perrons are at their wits end as the entity tries to tear the family apart. There is no rest for this poor family as they are assaulted when they sleep, they are assaulted when they play, and they are assaulted when they are most vulnerable. Discovering the reason behind the evilness of the house only adds to the enjoyment of a truly chilling movie experience. As the film comes to its tumultuous ending, one cannot help but get shivers down their spine. In conclusion, this is one of the best horror films of 2013. Right from the opening moments, this film will scare the viewer with loud noises and creepy imagery. The relentless frights will keep you on edge as nowhere can be considered a safe place. This film has ghostly happenings, exorcism elements, scary old toys, and a creepy old house. All of these things are working in a cacophony of terror to delight the viewer. The only negative is the lack of blood and some cheesy supporting characters (see the police officer) but truly this film was great. Will the Warrens be able to save the Perron family? Watch to find out.

Director James Wan has been hit or miss with me but this is definitely his best film since the original Saw move. The farmhouse is a great locale for evil doings, and the tried and tested cast gets maximum results. His camera work is superb as he makes the viewer experiences a lot of situations from the characters point of view. He makes the viewer fear to look under the bed and behind closed doors, and that is not an easy thing to do. It will be a long time before I play hide and seek with my nephews after watching this film.

I give this movie a big recommendation especially to people who don’t need blood and gore in their horror.

T Factor + If you like the paranormal activity genre then this could score higher on the rating scale.

T Factor – If you like gore in your horror films then this could score lower on the rating scale.

If you liked this film reel recommendations: Sinister, Insidious.

Mud

Mud

2012

Drama

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 130 minutes

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Sam Shepard, Reese Witherspoon, Michael Shannon, Tye Sheridan, Jacob Lofland, Ray McKinnon, Sarah Paulson

Directed By: Jeff Nichols

Rating: 7 out of 10

Outline

Two kids find an abandoned boat and a strange man in the woods.

Review

Note to all kids out there, if you find random things in the woods, just turn the other way because weird shit is about to go down. Mud is the story of two rural kids (Ellis and Neckbone.) They discover an abandoned boat in the deep woods and claim it for themselves. The boat seems like found treasure until they realize the boat is not as abandoned as they think. A mystery man (named Mud), who is living in the woods, is the other claimant of the boat and he is willing to give up his claim…..for a price.

There are so many things to like about this movie I am not sure where to start. It is a coming of age story, it is a mystery, it is a love story, and it is well crafted drama. It also has elements of family dysfunction, revenge, and moral issues. Normally I hate these types of films that go for too many themes, as they always come off as sloppy and disjointed. Mud is neither of those things. The film starts out and we see the two best friends, Ellis and Neckbone, living the life of young teens in rural/small town Arkansas. They are often left to their own devices, and they get to explore the world as they see fit. In one of their adventures, they come across an abandoned boat on a deserted island, or so it would seem.  A man (Mud) inhabits the island and he claims that the boat is his. Instantly, the viewer is hooked by this scenario. No one should be living on this island, but here this stranger is. The kids are hesitant to talk to Mud as he puts the strange in stranger. There is something intriguing about Mud though, and it is easy to believe that he can charm two kids into helping him out. Mud is shady and yet he is interesting. He seems simple and yet he tells fantastic tales. He is homeless and yet he is confident and proud. They strike a deal for ownership of the boat, but it entails that Ellis and Neckbone complete some errands for Mud before that transaction is complete. The first half of this film is replete with budding friendships, interesting characters, and strange interactions.

The acting in this is fantastic right across the board. Ellis is played by Tye Sheridan and Neckbone is played Jacob Lofland. The two best friends have an easy relationship that reminded me of the kids from Stand by Me. They are more mature then they should be at 14 and yet they seem like little kids at other times. They go about their lives (and errands) as if a camera wasn’t even on them. They get into fights, they talks to girls, they go into places they shouldn’t. Believable lifelong friendships are hard to pull off in a 2 hour time span, Sheridan and Lofland had no trouble convincing me. Mud was played by the completely reinvented Matthew McConaughey, and he was perfect. I can’t think of anyone who has turned a career around like this cat has. I hated him with a passion until his last few films. He was always so smarmy and one dimensional. But, with films like Killer Joe, Bernie, The Lincoln Lawyer, and now Mud, McConaughey could have an Oscar on his resume in the near future. Mud is a character that is all over the map. With his crooked teeth and his slight lisp, he wins the viewer over with tales of romance and the wide world. His past and present are a mystery, but he treats the two kids with respect and treats them as adults. The three of them form an odd friendship that will define the rest of their lives. Michael Shannon and Sam Shepard have brief appearances, but make great additions to the story.

As the film carries on it is clear that some of these errands are going to get the boys into trouble. As the days pass, Mud’s past starts to come to light and the kids have to make some tough decisions on what to do next. Ellis has to balance a struggling home life, a budding romance, and his conscience. The film is many things, but I was captivated the most by these two young kids as they traverse a very violent and often times cruel world. In Conclusion, this film will not be for everyone as it is very slow. But if you are a fan of a well crafted drama, great acting, and a boatload of interesting characters, then Mud is a sure fire hit.

I was unfamiliar with Director and writer Jeff Nichols work, but I will be paying attention to his stuff in the future. He seems to be able to combine a whirlwind of themes and harness the chaos it causes. When Mud is on the screen, you are wondering what his story is. When the kids are on the screen, you are wondering what sort of trouble they are going to get into next. Small towns sometimes have huge secrets, and it is neat to see two young kids at the center of the storm. Great work Mr. Nichols; this film has both character and soul.

I give this movie a recommendation and if you are wondering, McConaughey does take his shirt off in this.

T Factor + If you like the drama genre then this could score higher on the rating scale.

T Factor – If you do not like Matthew McConaughey as an actor then this could score lower on the rating scale.

If you liked this film reel recommendations: Stand by Me, Undertow

Scary Movie 5

Scary Movie 5

Comedy (Spoof)

2013

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 86 minutes

Starring: Ashley Tisdale , Simon Rex

Directed By: Malcolm D. Lee

Rating: 0 out of 10

Outline

Following the Sanders family, this is a movie spoofing the current horror films.

Review

Have you ever stepped in dog crap before? Have you ever been hit in the junk with a hockey puck? Have you ever had to pass a kidney stone? Have you ever stepped on a pin with your bare foot? Did you see the movie The Tree of Life in theatre? I have done all of these things at one point in my life, and I can honestly say they were all more enjoyable than this movie. Scary Movie 5 is the story about the Sanders. They start to experience some paranormal activity after bringing their two young nieces into their house. They need to get to the bottom of this activity before it tears their family apart.

It took exactly 30 seconds to realize that this movie was going to follow in the same pitiful footsteps of Scary Movie 3, and 4. An opening scene where Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan have sex while Yakety Sax plays in the background, is not only painfully stupid, it somehow insults the memory of Benny Hill at the same time. Trust me when I say that this movie never gets any better. This movie follows the storylines of Paranormal Activity, Mama, and Black Swan. It also throws in many references from films like The Evil Dead, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and Sinister (and many others.) No matter what film they were spoofing, it failed miserably. The Sanders are just a regular couple going through some personal issues. They have agreed to look after their little nieces who were found living in the woods. Shortly after moving the kids in, the Sanders are inundated with creepy sounds and objects that move on their own accord. While most films take a slow progression up to the stupid poop and slapstick humor, Scary Movie 5 repeatedly slaps the viewer in the face with unfunny material from the get go. Someone out there thought that if you mashed enough jokes about having sex with animals, awkward racial stereotypes, and people getting hit in the head that it would make for a good comedy, they were wrong.

Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Snoop Dogg, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Katt Williams, and Heather Locklear. This cast is so bad that it wouldn’t even be asked to do an episode of Hollywood Squares. I won’t waste my time speaking about the acting as I am sure you understand by now how I feel about this movie. The only positive is Ashley Tisdale is easy to watch even if she isn’t remotely funny. Lastly, Jerry O’Connell is in this, and he looks like he is coming off a 2 year coke binge as he is unrecognizable. Trip McNeely looks sickly.  

I have a confession to make; this film was so bad that I had to watch it in three parts. I would tire of the stupidity and go play some Diablo 3 to ease the pain. As I came back and restarted from where I left off, it just reaffirmed my hatred for it. The Sanders realize that they must confront the evil in their house before being destroyed by it. It is in this confrontation that the exact opposite of humor can be found. There are putrid scenes of an intelligent ape confronting the evil entity from Mama. There are stupid scenes about the lesbian love scene from Black Swan. There are inane scenes about the book reading from The Evil Dead. The writers also seemed to think by simply referencing another film that it would make for good comedy, they were wrong. In conclusion, this movie just made me sad. It made me sad that I wasted my life watching it. It made me sad that there are people out there that obviously find these movies funny. It made me sad for the actors that they have fallen so low. Finally, it made me sad to know that Scary 6 will eventually happen.

Director Malcolm D. Lee will get a pass from my criticism as this script allows for zero comedy. He took a broken franchise, threw in some broken actors, and guided this film to a profit. So I guess he earned his paycheck. You should have made Undercover Brother 2 and stayed away from this mess, Mr. Lee.

I cannot recommend this movie. PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THIS.

T Factor + None

T Factor – None

If you liked this film reel recommendations: Superhero Movie, Disaster Movie.