Star Wars Characters

STAR WARS TOP 10 LIST

I have long wanted to do a Star Wars post, but it always got pushed to the back burner. Now that I have a free second to write, I figured I would do a Top 10 Star Wars list. When Disney bought the Star Wars rights late last year, I was stoked to find out that they were doing movies 7, 8, and 9 in the story arc. Star Wars was a huge part of my childhood and although the new ones didn’t amaze me, I never the less was entertained by them, and I also loved the nostalgia that they invoked. When I heard J.J. Abrams was set to direct the new ones, I was downright giddy. You see, I am a rare Star Wars/Star Trek crossover fan. I guess you can call me a surly Nausicaan Nerf Herder. I am not angry that Abrams is bringing his vision to Star Wars as his Star Trek reboots have been great. Although, the lightsaber scenes are going to have so many lens flares!  With the announcement of movies 7, 8, and 9, there came another announcement of two standalone films. The films would be separate origin stories of Han Solo and Boba Fett. Were these the right two characters to start with? Absolutely they are! It got me thinking about other characters that should get their own film. Keep in mind that I have never read the Star Wars books, so I am going on their movie characters alone. So make yourself a Tatooine Sunburn, sit back and enjoy a list that I hope comes to fruition.

THIS LIST MAY CONTAIN VERY NERDY SPOILERS.

TOP 10 STAR WARS CHARACTERS THAT SHOULD HAVE THEIR OWN MOVIE.

THESE ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

10. Kit Fisto

Kit Fisto had little screen time and yet it was enough to intrigue me. He was part of the Jedi High Council and is an imposing figure. His signature grin lets the viewer know he loves to battle evil. Although he was chopped down in his prime by Darth Sidious, I can’t help but feel there is a rich origin story to be told about him.

9. Greedo

Greedo was the bounty hunter that Han Solo kills like a boss in the Cantina bar on Mos Eisley. It has sparked many debates of whether Han shot first. There is something about the ineptitude of the Greedo character that captured my interest. He is a trained killer and yet misses a point blank shot at Han. There must be a fascinating origin story about this green bounty hunter, and I want to see it.

8. Lando Calrissian

The Baron Administrator of Cloud city has led an interesting life. He gambles, smuggles, and to quasi quote Kanye West, Lando’s life is dope, and he does dope shit! Lando even owned the Millennium Falcon at one point but lost it to Han Solo while gambling. I want to see the origin of this man with such questionable morals. I hope he drinks Colt 45 in the film as well.

7. Yoda

Yoda is simply the most pimp character in the Star Wars universe. He stands 66 centimeters tall and yet is a giant amongst the Jedi. He is a master at nearly everything when it comes to the force and is virtually unrivalled in lightsaber battles. With 900 years of life, Star Wars fans deserve a trilogy to one of the most iconic figures in cinematic history. “Do or do not, There is no try.” – Yoda.

6. Darth Maul

Darth Maul was the Sith badass with the dual lightsabers in the Phantom Menace. He was awesome in the sense that he was a new bad guy for the legion of Star Wars nerds. The lightsaber battle scene between Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Darth Maul was arguably one of the best scenes from the prequels. He was a man of few words, but anyone that can kill Qui-Gon Jinn deserves an origin movie.

5. Chewbacca

Chewbacca is one of the greatest wingmen in the history of wingmen. He rides shotgun to Han Solo on the Millennium Falcon, and roars his way through the movies 4, 5, and 6. His strength is prodigious and his loyalty is even more so. You understood nothing he said which leads to wanting to know more about what makes this Wookie tick. Nerdy fun fact: Chewbacca is from the planet Kashyyyk.

4. Obi-Wan Kenobi

While Obi-Wan has had plenty of screen time already, he is such an awesome character that I want more. They could go two routes with the Obi-Wan character. They could do an origin story of his younger years. Or they could do the story of his life as a hermit on Tatooine. He fought Darth Maul, he fought Count Dooku, he fought Jango Fett, he fought General Grievous, and he fought Anakin Skywalker. This guy is the godfather of Jedi and deserves some more screen time.

3. General Grievous

Grievous might have been my favorite character from the new movies. When he opens his cloak and pulls out four lightsabers to fight Obi-Wan, I was in awe. I wanted to know more about a dude that could kill so many Jedi. There is no shame in losing to Obi-Wan in an epic battle, but it is a shame we don’t know more about this great villain.

2. Count Dooku

Holy shit, Saruman is in the Star Wars universe. Grey bearded and confident, Count Dooku owns the screen with his bravado and strong will. He is a former Jedi that has turned to the Dark Side. I want to know what caused the man to lose faith. I want to know what went on when Yoda trained Dooku in the way of the Jedi arts. A man that can survive a fight with Yoda deserves some back story.

1.Qui-Gon Jinn

I love Liam Neeson and he owned the Qui-Gon role. One of the biggest positives of the Phantom Menace was Neeson’s performance. He encapsulates everything I thought a Jedi would be. He is wise, calm, and confident in every situation. He is a beloved figure and understands the force in a unique way. Anyone who trained Obi-Wan must have an awesome origin story, and I would love to see Qui-Gon on the big screen again.

 There is my list. Is there anyone else you think that deserves a film? Let me know, and as always, thanks for reading!


P.S. If they make a Mace Windu origin movie, I hope they use Dave Chappelle!

Top 10 Movies That Remind Me Of My Dad

Top 10 movies that remind me of my Dad

My dad passed away 3 years ago on August 9^th. I wanted to post this on that exact date this year, but things have been crazy in my world so I was not able to do so. Now that I have a moment, I thought I would do a tribute to my dad with a top 10 movies that make me think of him. These 10 movies hold a special place in my heart for whenever I hear them mentioned, see them on TV, or see the DVD sitting on my shelf, I can’t help but smile in remembering my Pops. So, this list may not be especially awesome for you to read, but it is especially awesome for me to share.

RIP Dad. Your tribute list is an awesome one!

WARNING THERE MAY BE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Top 10 (In no particular order)

#10 Robocop

My dad was super liberal in terms of what movies I could/couldn’t watch when I was a kid. I remember when Robocop came out that I was so mad at my dad for not letting me see it. It turns out he made the very RIGHT call on that. I saw it a few years after its release and even that was too early. Whenever I see Peter Weller or baby food I can’t help but smile and remember.

#9 Porky’s

So, this is the other movie that my dad didn’t let me watch as a kid, and again, very much the right call. Nudity, coarse language, and sexual situations would have shattered my child like innocence. I saw it many years after and it made me realize that parents really do know best. Whenever I hear something about Florida I can’t help but smile and remember.

#8 Hard to Kill

This movie and this movie alone is why I will always support Steven Seagal. When people complain about some of the god awful tripe that he has made in the last decade, I will always respond with “Yeah, but he made Hard to Kill.” When my brothers and I were kids, my family would go to a cottage for the summer. My dad rented Hard to Kill and we sat down and watched Seagal break dozens of legs and arms. I loved it, my brothers loved it, and my dad loved it. It came on the TV the day before he died and we watched it in all of its awesomeness for one last time together. Love him or hate him, Seagal will always make me smile and remember.

#7 Die Hard

When I was a kid, I was at a friend’s birthday party when my dad showed up to take me home. I was upset because Die Hard was just put in for us to watch. It was also a movie I was worried my dad wouldn’t want me watching. My dad took one look at Bruce Willis and calmly plunked himself down at the back of the room. What happened next was 2 hours of one of the best action movies of all time. My dad and I bonded over an awesome action film like a father and son should. Whenever I hear the name John Maclean, I can’t help but smile and remember.

#6 A Clockwork Orange

My dad went 66 years without ever mentioning this movie to me. It was a few days before his 66th birthday when he mentioned he would like a copy of this as a present. He told me it was one of his favorite films. I never got to watch it with him, but I thought my dad was a little bit cooler that day for saying that he loved this film so much. Whenever I see Malcolm McDowell in something I can’t help but smile and remember.

# 5 Straw Dogs (1971)

Exact same thing as Clockwork Orange, he said he wanted this movie as a present because he loved the sheer violence of it. That is a badass statement. Whenever I see Dustin Hoffman in something I can’t help but smile and remember.

#4 The Great Outdoors

My dad loved John Candy, and I also loved John Candy when I was growing up. Why this movie when Candy had so many better films? It came down to one scene. A bear gets its ass blown off with a shotgun. That scene had my whole family laughing for minutes. It was one of the earliest times that I can remember where my dad just lost control with laughter. Whenever I see John Candy in something I can’t help but smile and remember.

#3 Bridge on the River Kwai

My dad was always watching military programs when I was a kid. It could have been a documentary, a television show, or a movie, but he just loved the army genre. I could have picked many movies but my dad must have watched this film a hundred times. Seeing that bridge exploding brings back great memories. Whenever I see Sir Alec Guinness I can’t help but smile and remember.

#2 Crocodile Dundee

I remember this movie fondly because it was always on TV back in the day. Whenever it was on, me and my pops would watch it for two quotes. “That’s not a knife, that’s a knife” and “you can live on it, but it tastes like shit.” This film always entertained us and was just classic 1980’s flick. Whenever I see Paul Hogan I can’t help but smile and remember.

#1 Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan

My dad loved Star Trek and he always had this film on in our basement. Arguably or not arguably, it is the best Trek film in the whole franchise and it was one of my dad’s favorites. Whenever I hear someone scream KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! I can’t help but smile and remember.

It is a pretty kick ass list if you ask me!

Honorable Mentions

#Two and A Half Men

#Married with Children

#The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

# Benny Hill

#Bizarre

Fantasy Books versus Game of Thrones

Top 8 Fantasy Books/Series/Authors for the people on the Game of Thrones bandwagon.

I know this is not a movie post but it is loosely related. All of these books/series that I am about to list would make great television shows/movies in my mind. I will start off by saying that I like Game of Thrones. I think it is a great book series and a great television show. What I am tired of hearing is all the hype and discussion around it. I read every type of genre but my heart will always belong to fantasy. If you are a person who has never been into fantasy and have recently jumped on the GOT bandwagon, I am happy that you found something you like. If you have been reading fantasy your whole life and are looking for something else to read, this list should work for you also. GOT is good, but there is better, and more importantly there are other authors that should receive your adulation and praise if you are willing to try something new. Don’t just try the flavor of the month, as you are missing out! Obviously, I haven’t read everything so if I have left off one of your beloved series/books please let me know about it.

Top 8

# 8 Among Thieves

Author: Douglas Hulick

I was on a thief/assassin kick so I randomly picked this off the shelf of my local bookstore. Following a kin member named Drothe, the reader will be entranced with a mystery involving ancient artifacts, shady characters, and dark magic. It is a wonderful tale made that much more enjoyable by Drothe being such an ordinary person. Author Doulas Hulick captures your attention from the first couple of chapters and you will not want to put this book down. Hulick is currently working on the second book in this series.  

#7 Dream of Eagles series/Golden Eagle series/The Guardians of Scotland series

Author: Jack Whyte

Author Jack Whyte has been writing for a long time. It is a testament to his skills that his work has remained so captivating. The Dream of Eagles series is a fantastic tale of the Roman occupation of Britain and the subsequent years leading up to the tale of King Arthur and his knights. It covers many years, and it covers many people and places. You will cheer the successes and lament the failures of this tale of survival. If that doesn’t do it for you then Whyte has also written stores surrounding the main players in the movie Braveheart. Read stories about William Wallace and Robert the Bruce that paints a much different picture than in the movie. Whyte makes you care about the plight of the characters and his books should not be missed.

#6 Acacia Series

Author: David Anthony Durham

The Acacian Empire has known peace and prosperity for many generations, but that is all about to change. A strange world is about to be thrown into civil unrest. There are deadly animals, mysterious races, and lots of deception that awaits you if you choose to read this series. It is slow at times and there are too many storylines but it is still a great read, and Durham has penned a great world where the reader can get lost in.

#5 The Runelords

Author:David Farland

Never has a world existed where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer as much as it does in The Runelords. The nobility in this series have the ability to extract physical attributes (Brawn/Grace/Wit/etc.) from the common man to create super warriors/kings. The story is gripping as we follow a land under constant war between powerful kings. No one is safe as complex war strategies are enacted to battle each other. This series falls apart HARD after the fourth book, but once you read the first book they are hard to stop. There is love, magic, and beasts out of you worst nightmares awaiting you if you read this series.

#4 Night Angel Trilogy/The Lightbringer Series

Author: Brent Weeks

These are two completely different series and yet equally awesome. Weeks has the rare ability to hook the reader from the opening chapter. The Night Angel trilogy follows a master assassin and his quasi apprentice. The action is intense and the lead characters are awesome. The Lightbringer series follows a world of unprecedented magic; here the color spectrum dictates your magical ability and strength. War has broken out in the land and the color magic might tear it to pieces. Both series are amazing and shouldn’t be missed.

#3 Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit

Author: J.R.R Tolkien

If you have read GOT and you haven’t read LOTR and the Hobbit, stop being a fantasy lemming trying to fit in. Please read these stories as Tolkien is the godfather of fantasy. GOT would not exist without Tolkien (and others) paving the way so respect the history!

#2 The Kingkiller Chronicle

Author:Patrick Rothfuss

The Name of the Wind is arguably my favorite fantasy book of all time (The first of the Kingkiller Chronicle.) It is over a thousand pages and I went two days without sleep while reading this book. Detailing the story of Kvothe, the book follows his life from a child to his early teens. It is easy to get lost in this book as Kvothe is an amazing character. You will be immersed in a world virtually unparalleled in fantasy as Rothfuss details Kvothes struggle to survive. This book is highly addictive so make sure you have the spare time to read it.  Rothfuss’s series is as epic as his huge beard! Read it and thank me later.

#1 Drenai Series/Rigante Series/And many more

Author:David Gemmell

It is a shame that Gemmell is not more beloved in North America. David Gemmell passed away a few years back and I was heartbroken. Someone once wrote that Tolkien created the fantasy genre but Gemmell perfected it, and I couldn’t agree more. No fantasy writer is able to make you care more for a character than Gemmell could. You will love, laugh, and bleed with these characters as they battle their way to riches and glory (mostly just for survival though). His writing is unrivaled and he truly is the master. The books Waylander, and The First Chronicles of Druss the Legend, are amazing starters for you if you choose to read him. Gemmell will be missed but his amazing fantasy legacy will carry on.

Honorable Mentions (Non Fantasy)

Ready Player One

Author:Ernest Cline

Like the 80’s? Ready Player One is a book that shouldn’t be missed then. It follows a world addicted to online gaming. Referencing movies, music, T.V., books, and pop culture mostly from the 1980’s (some 70’s/90’s) this book is must read for the nostalgic nerd lover in you.

Ender’s Game

Author: Orson Scott Card

I hope this helps you in your search for fantasy reading. Let me know what your favorites are!

Top 15 Movie Scenes: That Stuck With Me

Top 15 Movie Scenes: That Stuck With Me (In a negative way)

THERE MAY BE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! AND SOME PICTURES ARE GRAPHIC!

My mind is always connecting things/life situations to movies. It is something I have always done and will always continue to do. Where this particular list came from is due to my strange inner workings. Here is the warped Kevin Bacon styled game that I played in my head which led to this blog post. I got a splinter in my finger last night. It led me to think of a time when I was playing road hockey (when I was a small kid.) While playing, a guy I knew took half a broken hockey stick through his hand (In reality it was probably a three inch splinter.) However, that happened almost 25 years ago and it has stuck with me (Pun not intended.) That injury was devastating to witness and it makes me cringe thinking about it even now. But then I thought some more and the word splinter made me think of the rat from Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles. Splinter was a ninja and it got me to thinking of the ninja Storm Shadow from G.I. JOE. Storm Shadow was on Cobra with a guy named Major Blood. Major Blood wore an eye patch and that came from a past eye injury. That injury led me to think of the cop that was stabbed in eye during the movie End of Watch. That injury has stuck with me and so here is the list of scenes that have stuck with me in a negative way.

THERE MAY BE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! AND SOME PICTURES ARE GRAPHIC!

THESE ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

#15 Cop stabbed in the eye: End of Watch

I have a phobia of things touching my eye. So injuries involving the eye are particularly awful for me. This scene stuck with me because it seemed like a routine back up call. That is until they find their fellow cop sitting on the ground with a knife sticking in his eye.

#14 Stifler eats dog crap: American Wedding

Stifler has been peed on, has drunk semen, and even has kissed a guy. None of that bothered me as much as him having to eat dog crap in the third movie. Watching him eat it and then having it stuck in his teeth doesn’t sit well with me.

#13 Captain Spaulding: The Devils Reject/House of a 1000 Corpses

I hate clowns, look at this clown. Have fun trying to sleep tonight.

#12 Watching the VHS tape: The Ring

A host of disturbing and unsettling images await you if you watched the tape in The Ring. There was something about the strange imagery that stuck with me. It was easy to think bad things were going to happen after watching this video and that hasn’t gone away.

#11 Drinking horse semen: Jack Ass 2

I got sick to my stomach when Party Boy drinks horse semen in the second movie. It still makes me queasy thinking about it.

#10 Rob Roy’s wife is raped: Rob Roy

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Cunningham was already one of the most hated villains in movie history. This scene of complete misogynistic degradation was impossible to watch and completed my hatred for him.

#9 Curb stomp: American History X

One of the most shocking scenes in cinematic history, its brutality is virtually unrivalled in film.

#8 A handful of blood: Cabin Fever

Imagine finally getting with the girl of your dreams only to come away with the grossest hand of gore possible. You knew it was going to happen and even then it was still sickening.

#7 Hospital scene: The Eye

Not the crappy Jessica Alba version of The Eye, but the Asian version entitled Gin Gwai. There is a scene after the woman just has an eye transplant. She is walking around a hospital with weird sounds and strange images coming from everywhere. It still freaks me out thinking of it.

 # 6 Elijah Price on the stairs: Unbreakable

Elijah Price is suffering from osteogenesis imperfecta, a rare disease that makes his bones break easily. He has a scene where he hurries down some subway stairs. I only have a face of horror when looking back on that scene.

#5 Paul Krendler eats his own brain: Hannibal

Not sure why this one stuck with me so much. It is just the exposed brain and the thought of eating it that gives me the willies.

#4 Mutant rape: The Hills Have Eyes

Over the top? Check. Disturbing? Check. Scarred for life? Check. This scene was disgusting and although it is mostly implied, totally unnecessary.

#3 Finger nail fallout: The Fly

Lots of things stuck with me from The Fly. His metamorphosis where Seth Brundle is falling apart is the most horrific to watch though.

#2 Semen éclair: Van Wilder

There is a scene in Van Wilder where they fill chocolate éclairs up with bulldog semen and then drop them off at a rival fraternity’s house. Long story short, the éclairs get eaten in the sloppiest of manners. Disgusting and till this day I cannot look at an éclair without shuddering.

#1 Jesus being whipped: Passion of the Christ

It is just painful to sit through as skin is being flayed off his body. People walked out in droves from the theatre when this was going on. I remember the scene like it was yesterday and it still haunts me.

So that is my list of scenes that have stuck with me. Keep in mind that every rape scene could easily have made the list as they are never easy to watch. Also, personal phobias and experiences weighed in. Do you have a scene that sticks with you in a negative way?

Honorable mentions from movies and TV

Saw 2# Pit of Syringes

The Grudge# Girl on stairs

X-Files# Inbred woman under bed

 V/H/S# Woman with big eyes

About Schmidt# Kathy Bates Hot Tub